Coming to see a domme for the first session can be a little scary. You probably have a lot of questions about how to prepare and arrive. Even if you have served other Dommes before, each of us is different and will expect different things of you.
My friend, Ms. Maya Midnight, has a comprehensive guide for complete newbies visiting her for a first session. I believe it is pretty helpful and worth reading before booking with any Professional Dominant. It is to her specifications; so I want to talk about how you should prepare to contact me more specifically after you’ve read her guide.
I expect you to come to me with not only a sense of why you want to play with a dominant but also a sense of why you have chosen me. Ms. Midnight has also written a guide to help you understand your kinky desires that I recommend reading. As for why you’ve decided to contact me for your first session. That’s what we will get into now.
Why did you choose me for your first session?
I will often ask, “What drew you to me?” and I will expect a better answer than, “You’re hot.”. I’m not looking for a dissertation on the parts of my style that have intrigued you, just a general idea of something that drew you to me. By definition, all Dommes are dominant, so I know it isn’t just my dominance.
Note what I said or did that got you excited. Was it my style of dress? The language I used in my ad? Perhaps it was a specific video of mine, the way I physically or verbally dealt with my sub.
It could also be something that developed over time for you, like my Twitter behavior or how you have been fascinated by reading my blogs or newsletters. Tell me that. Knowing this helps me understand why we would have good chemistry. A sentence or two will suffice, no need to go into detail.
An introductory email should be clear and concise. If you send me a novel, especially for your first session, I’m much less likely to give a quick response. I will save it until I have the time and the energy to read it through and answer accordingly.
My time is valuable, don’t waste it giving me your life story.
I absolutely do not give a flying fuck about your looks or dick size. If you send a photo or tell me you are a fit white guy with a big dick (by your assumption), you have just seriously decreased your chances of even getting a response. Body type only comes into play if we are doing heavy bondage or suspension so I can prepare the right gear for your size and weight.
I could go into more detail, but Ms. Maya has already done so in her linked writing so I will move on.
Once we have set a date and time and I’ve received your deposit, I will give you a protocol to confirm your appointment. Confirmations are very important. If you miss a single step of this process, you forfeit your deposit and must rebook. If a new appt is set in a small but reasonable time frame, I will allow the same deposit for the new booking.
You will learn the neighborhood of the location when booking. During the confirmation protocol, you will receive more location info as it is necessary.
Missing your confirmation is not considered canceling, it’s flaking. I hate flakes. If you need to cancel, that is completely understandable. Life happens, jitters happen. I get it. The deposit is non-refundable, though, so be sure before you book.
I will not go into details about what will happen in the session. I will take the list of interests and hard limits you shared, see where they meet with mine, and create an outline of a scene based on our chemistry. Our mutual feelings that day will also be taken into consideration to keep the session organic.
Arriving for your session
Upon arrival, you will be offered a shower, but it is polite that you arrive in a clean and put-together state. When I open the door, do not try to open it yourself, I will greet you and give you directions immediately. Do not make assumptions or stroll on in, even if it isn’t your first session. Always wait for and follow instructions.
I detail in another post more about arrival and COVID precautions. I suggest reading it. I will provide everything you need unless you have allergies or require specific toiletries, then please bring them.
If there is a reason you have issues using the shower, such as an injury, disability, or other, please let me know when confirming. I can be intimidating, and I don’t want you feeling scared to speak up in the moment. Your safety and comfort are integral parts of building trust.
After you have showered, I will take some time with you to discuss the session. This is generally just a few minutes to go over hard limits and any safety concerns. I want to know your hard limits, pain tolerance, and any medical issues.
If you need more time than that to make sure you are comfortable, you have four options. The first option is to book the extra time and let me know while booking you want a sit down before play for an in-depth discussion.
Your 2nd option is to book a consultation with me. These are quick meetings in a public place, like a coffee shop or park, to get to know me a little. To make sure you are ready and I am the right domme for you. This is very vanilla. I will not treat you like sub during this discussion.
The 3rd option is to book an outing with me. This can be dinner before the session or as a separate event to enjoy an evening or afternoon with me. Outings take place in public but, some subtle, play or dynamic can be included.
Your 4th option is to call me on NiteFlirt or text me on SextPanther to discuss what a possible session could be like. I love chatting about the possibilities and my subs love the extra build up to scene. It can also remove some of the awkward, getting to know each other time.
Go forth and book!
If you have read this far, you must be excited to get to the fun part, the session. This is the only part I won’t be telling you about before the session. You will need to book a session to experience it for yourself. The only way to get rid of a fear is to face it.
I can do a lot to help you feel comfortable, but at the end of the day, I like a healthy level of fear. Especially when I get to use it for my fun. So head to my contact page and book! Consultations, outings, and sessions are all welcome.
