Are you available? Available now? U Avail?
These are the most ubiquitous phases in the life of any pro domme or anyone in the sex industry for that matter. From the moment I posted my first ad (RIP Backpage), it began.
I am available for play as much as I am physically capable of being available for play. I can say this with certainty because I’ve tested the limits. I’ve made myself available 24/7 and turned my lines off for months.
I love playing. I want to do it all the time, in any way I can. I take in-person sessions in NYC, online sessions through phone, cam, texts, etc, and produce videos. I’m almost always playing in some capacity.
Teasing and tormenting subs and bottoms is the fuel that keeps the light behind my eyes. Some might say I’m a succubus. I feed off dominating you for my inner glow. According to Queen Ariana Chevalier, it’s what keeps us young.
I have been fortunate to have the option of building a life doing all the things I love most all the time. Unfortunately, I need to spend some time outside of the realm I enjoy so much. It turns out, I cannot survive on play alone.
I'd love to always be available
If I could, I’d be online 24/7 and living in the dungeon with subs coming in and out at all hours. For years, I did. I regularly spent the night at my first New York City Dungeon. I used to move into my 2nd NYC dungeon from Tuesday to Friday every week. I even lived at the Den of Iniquity for months when visiting there.
When I’m on tour, I still do this. I love sleeping in the dungeon and waking up to see the equipment. Knowing I’m just a quick outfit change away from the possibility of play is invigorating.
I love an opportunity to have a fully immersive experience of dungeon life. I used to go to sleep in a session outfit with full makeup and tell the phone girl to wake me up if any calls came in at 2 or 3 am.
This lifestyle is super fun and feeds many needs I have, but it’s not healthy. After 6 or 7 years, it starts to take a toll. I was neglecting my other needs and obligations. Accepting same-day sessions and missing doctor appointments. Taking NiteFlirt calls from bar bathrooms or skipping sleep to edit videos.
I once took a NiteFlirt call while boarding a plane. I also stayed on a call while accepting an award! It was pretty iconic, but clearly showed where my priorities lay.
I knew I had to stop neglecting my life outside of play. I wasn’t ready to admit I’d have to start being less available for play. Play is my favorite thing! How could I do less of it?
Balancing when to be available for play and personal time
Balance was a hard lesson to learn. One day, my phone rang while I was walking with my little sister. I couldn’t bring myself to answer it. I’d already decided this time would be for my sister, but I lacked the self-control to turn off my line. The call went to voicemail and Niteflirt automatically signed me out.
I didn’t turn my line back on for 7 months.
During that time, I went to the opposite extreme. I barely answered my emails, stopped filming, and focused almost entirely on my life outside of play. I let the pendulum swing too far the other way.
I have to admit that I missed it – a lot. Of course, I was still taking sessions at home in New York, but I didn’t go on tour or play online. My play was limited to only in-person.
In finding the right balance of play and vanilla life, I had to set firm boundaries for myself. Currently, I keep a schedule of when I’m available for different types of play. I keep it flexible, though, because I value a bit of indulgence.
Each month, I choose which days I’ll be available for online play, which days I’ll edit videos, and which days I’ll be available for in-person play. It forces me to have balance and not get sucked into one area.
If you contact me for online play when I’m doing in-person play or editing, you can’t persuade me with messages or emails to prioritize you. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. Sometimes I can be influenced, but it takes more than messages and emails. $$$
I can be bribed, sometimes.
If I’m sitting at my desk uploading videos, $100 may entice me to take a call. If I have sessions that day, $5000 won’t convince me to cancel, but it might convince me to make time for you before or after.
You can take your chances; I make no promises you will get a response or the one you wanted.
Sending me single or double-digit tips to beg me to drop everything and make myself available to you will never be enough. It’s rude and entitled. Show me how much you miss me. I want to feel appreciated and adored.
I’ll accept small tributes as a gift; as a way of saying you’re thinking of me. Knowing you miss me may entice me to switch my next online play day to come sooner.
Keep in mind, those are just some of the days in my month. I also make time for personal care, friends, and family. I’m a social person. When I’m with my family, I won’t even see your messages until I’m home.
Out with friends, it all depends on what I’m doing. Occasionally, I’ll leave my SextPanther on for texts when I’m out with another Mistress, so we can send some pics or videos to lucky boys who catch us together.
Summer vs. Winter availability
A good guideline to help you know my availability is that the weather highly impacts my schedule. I don’t want to leave my house when it’s cold, and I love to be outside when it’s warm.
I’m online much more in the winter. I hate the cold. I like to take that time to hibernate and get caught up on administrative work, like shoot planning and taxes. It also provides lots of time to be available for online play.
Unless I’m on a Fly Me To You somewhere warmer. My boys in warmer climates know I love to visit them when New York is cold.
In the summer, I will take a lot of calls and be available for sexting whenever I’m on the beach. Unfortunately, I can’t take cam calls from the beach. My tent barely provides enough privacy, and the WiFi is not strong enough.
When the weather is warm, I love a morning or afternoon session. It’s a great excuse to get out in the sunshine after. You already know how much I love sundress season.
Give me more reasons to walk around the city in my mini-dresses and sandals while enjoying the post-session glow. Even better, take me on an outing so you can see my legs and toes in person.
Catch me when I'm available or wait your turn.
There will always be a lot of factors that determine when I’m available to you, but the main thing to remember is you need to respect them.
I prioritize balance over availability these days. It allows me to enjoy this world I love so much and keep my vanilla life in order. Which in turn, makes it easier to be my best and most creative self for you.
